Hey look, no more error page ;)
Last week I had to go to New Jersey for work, which was a nice vacation out of the office, and some good learnings too. I didn't like the area at all though, but that doesn't really matter. 2 days before I left,
I had received an important piece of plastic in the mail - my passport card. What's this mean? It means I can drive to Canada, eh? So I tell <3 that I had something I needed to talk to her about, but I had to e-mail
it because it was hard to fix in a small text screen on my phone. I e-mailed her a quick picture of the passport. She starts texting me all happy as could be, excited, and I became ridiculously nervous.
So Friday, after I left Dirty Jersey (fuck you Snooki, and the rest of you Jersey Shored morons), I stopped over my friends house in updates New York for the night. Excited to embark on my journey to lands not yet
traveled by myself, I barely got any sleep. Saturday morning comes around, and I head out for the drive. I get to my hotel a little early. Luckily their WiFi reached out to their parking lot so I could get my phone set up
on it, and I e-mailed her that I was there, and after I checked in, I told her my room number. She was working that day, so I didn't expect to see her until after midnight. Out of the blue, there's 2 loud knocks on my door.
My heart is racing, head is spinning... "is she here already?!"
*cues the porn music*
I open the door and she forces it open. "Did somebody order a pizza?" she says and she strips me down naked...
Nah, I'm just kidding. I opened the door and there she was. An angel had just walked through the threshold of my heart. I had no idea what to say. She hugged me and I stood there like I was about to drool on myself. "Pull it
together you short bus passenger", I thought. It was a little awkward. She could only stay for a few minutes because she had to get to work, so we say goodbye and I hop on gchat since that's how we talk while she's at work, and
she would message me whenever she could.
I tried to get sleep. Any amount. It never happened. I think that's a good thing though. The more tired I became, the less nervous I was, and the less I thought about her thoughts about me. I know that sounds a little bad, but I
don't mean it in a negative way. It came down to "she'll either love me or not, you can't change that" and I was fine. She came back after she got out of work, with food, and she proceeded to try and teach me how to use those
funny little things they call chop sticks. Yea... I can play guitar, I can program a computer, I can fix so many things and use so many tools and other gadgets, but I can't...for the life of me... use fucking chop sticks. She laughed...
a lot. It was cute though.
I'm not going to get into too much gooey lovey dovey stuff throughout the rest of the night, but I'll sum it up in one word: surreal. I felt like I was dreaming. We stayed up all night, talking, cuddling, talking, kissing; the night
went too quickly, and my visit was way too short. Everything that I had felt before had become amplified. When I close my eyes now, I can see her snuggled up into me, her head on my chest, her hand in mine, and just laying there. It
felt so natural; perfection in a single moment that will forever be frozen in time, bound by my memories. Sorry ladies, if you thought you had a chance, let it be known that nobody else will ever have a chance with me. She ruined it
for everyone.
I miss her dearly more and more each day. She completes me. Nobody has ever tripped me up so badly before, and it would be impossible to come close. She's the one. She's forever. Of course, that's just me hoping she feels the same way. Some
things concern me, though one sticks out the most - her repetitive use of "even if we don't work out for some reason, I still want you in my life forever." I know there's a possibility of it not working out... I know things can happen
that could potentially hinder anything from going further than it has already, but her saying that worries me because it feels like she's already leaning in that direction now. Maybe she's preparing herself for the worst, or maybe she's
preparing me, or maybe she's just presenting the possibility. I don't know. What I do know is that I sleep with my hoodie as a pillow because it smells like her, and that each morning I always check my phone to see if she left me a message
from the night before, and that I look through the pictures of her on my phone all the time, and that she's always in my thoughts.
The night I came home, she sent me a text saying that she believes we're soulmates. I swear, if I could have melted or turned into a puddle at any point in time, it would have been that one. Well, there are plenty of moments, but yeah...
Her imperfections make her perfect, her eyes will always guide me to her, and this world is nothing without her because she really is that amazing, and I'm blessed to have her in my life, and the luckiest man alive to be able to hold her heart.
